Fems and Doms and A Naive Me
Apparently, I’m way sensitive to the normal lusty, homosexual jokes that chics throw each others way.
I discovered this last week. It started as a simple tweet and left me really thinking and pondering why I reacted as strongly as I did.
An avi on mobile twitter is sometimes small and not too clear. I just happened to take notice that a friend was wearing a see through shirt and me being me decided to poke at her! I’m known for picking with folks.Your eyes can often deceive you but in this instance I didn’t really put too much into it. So I sent a tweet telling her she got her boobs all out and her reply was “only half of it” with her silly self. I then followed up by saying ” Naw, boo! That’s nipples.” But it was her reply to this that really got me out of character . She quoted it, to all of twitter mind you, and responded with ” Cause you drooling huh? LLS.”
ERKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! STOP ALL THE PRESSES!!! WT!!!!
Instantly I was bothered. That was the end of the twitter exchanges right there. I don’t believe in giving twitter all of that so I took it to text. Anybody that knows me knows I’m a straight shooter and I have no problem stating what pleases or displeases me. I wasn’t mad BUT I wanted to express my discomfort with her tweet. So my text was simple.” I don’t like your last tweet.” No venom involved but still displaying my disdain. Her response was that she was quoting a line from the movie Boomerang and asked me did I remember. Hell no I don’t remember. Boomerang came out 20 years ago! LOL
But as simple and lighthearted as that was I was immediately infuriated by a tweet she meant nothing by. Okay. How do we dissect this Mel? The first and only thing I could think about was the encounter that I had at 18. Unbeknownst to me, some lesbians prey on straight women. I also was naive to the fact that not all fems aspired to be with doms. Some fems like fems!
I’ve never been one to judge so when friends introduced me to their longtime friend in 2000, I was cool with it even in knowing she liked girls. She was cool and she liked to shop like me so we hit it off. What I didn’t know is that the whole time we were spending all this time around each other it was enticing her and making her feel like we were actually something. Everything came to a head that September. I get a phone call from my friend. ” Oh you didn’t have to hide it from us if you was going like that. We would still be your friend. ” What the hell are you talking about? Im lost. She then goes onto to explain how she’d received a letter from fem stating that she and I were indeed a couple. I LOST IT! In the middle of lunch, had ordered and everything, I left and made my way straight to fems job at Best Buy in Pentagon City. Walked in the place and ensued a full on physical assault on fem in the speaker room. Broke speakers and all. It wasn’t so much because of what was said but because I felt betrayed. Here I am being a friend to her and she’s plotting on me the whole time. Taking my kindness and nativity for weakness and in essence, working towards trying to “turn me out.” This combined with me being a hot headed , non rational teenager made for this disastrous end. Even after that , I saw her at their house and ended up kneeing her in the face and bussing her nose wide open. She just wouldn’t quit with the invading of my personal space! Don’t touch me chic. Like really. Especially grabbing for my breast!
Why you may ask? It was all the other details of the phone call. How my friend detailed the way she would insinuate and simulate things while I was sleep. That she on occasion touched me places she wouldn’t dare if I was awake. I sleep hard. I’m pissed! Why would they let her take advantage of me like that? Simple. They assumed and took her word for it because flirting with being gay was so common place.
So I guess I got so offended today because I never want to be misidentified like that again. I’m a firm believer that folks take a mile when given millimeters. I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I’m taken advantage of or tried because of peoples assumptions. I don’t believe that the person I had the twitter exchange with is gay but quoting it and insinuating I was drooling over HER BREAST could’ve given many the wrong idea. LOL
Make no mistake. I’m not homophobic but you forcing lesbian sexuality on me is like me forcing fem to deal with guys. It’s my prerogative and right to like what I like. I don’t have a problem with what anyone does in their life. I don’t even mind if someone of the same sex is attracted to me because I cant control what you’re eyes see and like. What I am expecting is that you respect the lines and don’t cross them the same way I respect your sexuality and don’t judge you.
As for the offense I took to those tweets, Ima work on that. LOL
Everyday is an oppurtunity to change your train of thought.
I see you lost your cool but if I was in the same situation that you were, I don’t know how I would of reacted. When people betray me, they bring the other side out that people don’t wanna see. That meaning anything can happen. You’re always straight up with what you say and do so I feel where you’re coming from. Just don’t whoop anybody ass behind twitter….lol
I wouldn’t dare! No one can get that out of me these days. Im cool. LOL
Im glad you and your friend found humor in the whole thing! I think it is a horrible person that took advantage of you while you slept.. That’s never a good look girl on girl or not. I had no idea that that was such a culture but I have been approached by some church folks attempting to turn me out but I think men tip toe to that line and quickly walk away when they can’t cross it!
Thats crazy!!! Women are so cool with it because guys encourage it! So busy trying to live up to being what a man wants so they can get CHOSE! Don’t infiltrate a lifestyle just to be down. It cheapens everything!
I remember you telling me something like this years ago, but this is one of the reasons why I hate social networks like Twitter; messages can often be taken out of context. Mostly because people you meet through the internet don’t know you per say. They only know one aspect of you or your life, thats why I choose my words wisely with people I don’t know. You never what may be offensive to another person, I call it internet edicate. If everyone learned it, the internet would be a better place to “NETWORK”. Kudos Mel, you’ve always have been very intelligent and you have a phenomenal writing ablity and you are one of very few people who can clearly convey your thoughts through words…keep up the good work.
Thank you friend. Its taking me a while to post because I’m so meticulous about my delivery. Im glad my efforts are recognized
Damn good read gal, I like your steelo MSF.
Nice.
I’m mad your friends did not take time to ask you what was up. That shit she pulled in your sleep was not cool either. I know how hard you sleep.
Things happen. Its just ironic when you’re able see how past instances shape you today. Its a great thing to be able to do. It really shows you the real you and allows you t figure out if you are being reasonable.
I feel u 100 GRAND.. its not the homophobe thing.. its a RESPECT thing.. knowing your role and your place as a “friend”.. people are always taking advantage of something and I am sorry that u went through that bs hunni.. but u r in a much stronger place in life and we #WINNING
I understand where your coming from they( homosexual) know what they be doing. See if you was a really nasty person and reacted in a life treating manner it would have been wrong and for ur friends to say oh I didn’t know u go that way instead of just asking u from jump or putting a bug in ur ear that slim is trying to get close.. see you wasn’t thinking nothing of it cause u and her like shopping… fucking bitches….
There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. The courage to plan and scheme someone out of their sexual security is beyond me. But we also have to keep in mind being friendly and being genuine is a attraction to most….. So GUARD YOUR BOOTY HOLE AT ALL TIMES
Lls
Good blog. The growth is what matters, but sheesh! Kneed her in the face? Wrecked her at the job? You was a wrestler out here in these streets! Nah, keep it up though. Enjoyed the read, the perspective, and the maturation.
Bravo, MelB!!!!
Not to mention us being too playful & tight that an associate spread to ppl later that I was your lover a couple of years back! Smh! People can be ridiculous & assume some really retarded things!
That’s why I was mad!!! Lol